So, I work at my family restaurant. A few months ago, some guy orders on the phone. He wants me to replace a garnish with a side, which we can’t do, but I could charge him for. He asked the same mutha fuckin’ question 3 times, and I said no 3 different ways. He said we were “expensive and difficult” and hung up. So obviously, when he came in, I wasn’t having it. Then, he complained about how expensive it was. Like, I magically changed the prices. He had come in within the past 3 months. I recognized him and his terribly atypical name. So, he was just being a douche. And before he left, he asked me my name, and I made sure to repeat his to him. Although I avoid checking Yelp reviews, I was looking for a poem someone had written about their love for our place to show some friends. I stumbled across his bad review. He didn’t hide his name. I knew exactly who it was. So, from then, I assumed I would never see that fucker again. Mutha fucka comes in tonight with a girl and pretends he had never been here before. I could have embarrassed the shit out of him. I had told myself that if he came in again, I was going to refuse service, since I’m totes allowed to do that. But I’m very passive and tend not to confront assholes unless I’m defending someone else. Anyway, I just needed to share that. I mean, if you’re gonna be such an asshole, don’t bother coming back. Makes it easier for all of us, really.
*I apologize for my profanity. I don’t tend to curse unless someone sucks balls.
Went to a party tonight. Took a cab with a friend of a friend since we were going in the same direction. I got dropped off first. I tried to give her my cash & she said to just give it to the driver including tip. It was a 14 dollar ride. I gave him 11. I think she assumed I was supposed to pay the whole fare. She wasn’t the friendliest as I left. Am I in the wrong here? I mean, isn’t the whole point of sharing a cab that you get to split the ride? I shouldn’t have to pay the whole fare up to me so she would only pay 5 bucks to her house from mine. I don’t mind paying any amount. But I wasn’t SUPPOSED to pay the whole fare, right? I just need a little assurance here.
“I am not the first person you loved. You are not the first person I looked at with a mouthful of forevers. We have both known loss like the sharp edges of a knife. We have both lived with lips more scar tissue than skin. Our love came unannounced in the middle of the night. Our love came when we’d given up on asking love to come. I think that has to be part of its miracle. This is how we heal. I will kiss you like forgiveness. You will hold me like I’m hope. Our arms will bandage and we will press promises between us like flowers in a book. I will write sonnets to the salt of sweat on your skin. I will write novels to the scar of your nose. I will write a dictionary of all the words I have used trying to describe the way it feels to have finally, finally found you. And I will not be afraid of your scars. I know sometimes it’s still hard to let me see you in all your cracked perfection, but please know: whether it’s the days you burn more brilliant than the sun or the nights you collapse into my lap your body broken into a thousand questions, you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I will love you when you are a still day. I will love you when you are a hurricane.”—Clementine von Radics, Mouthful of Forevers (via thatkindofwoman)
“When you look around at the six people that you spend the most time with, that’s who you are. I think that in making those decisions in who you are going to be married to, who your friends are going to be, those are really huge, critical, life decisions. Who gets to talk to you everyday, is almost like the food that you eat. It is a very huge critical situation to choose who the people are that you are spending your life with, spending your time with and who you are choosing to give your love and everything to.”—Will Smith (via thatkindofwoman)
There’s this woman who volunteers at the same place as me but works a later shift. I’ve been volunteering there for over a year and have never talked to her. She had never tried talking to me, so I never tried talking to her. And she also bakes something every Friday. So everyone basically loves her. And I always ignore it and never eat anything. But she made some good looking fancy brownies today, and when she was far away, I totally ate one. The end.
So, Ellen Page came out in a fantastic speech. And of course, the internet has loads to say about it. I like to read comments just to see what people are saying. Most people are super positive and encouraging. But, a good chunk of the negative ones I have seen say things like, “called it” or “why do we have to make such a big deal?”
First, no one cares that you “called it.” It’s like when people comment on Instagram pictures with “First comment.” It’s not even a comment. It’s like you’re calling dibs on something you can’t actually win. With social media and our ability to literally comment on anything on the fly, people tend to say the first thing they think, whether they think they’re being clever or witty or whatever.
Second, why do we have to make such a big deal out of a celebrity coming out? I understand some reasoning behind this comment. They’re maybe trying to say that people should be gay and have it be something typical. They’re probably the same people who say they “don’t see color,” which I could also go on about, but in short, they should embrace color, not ignore it. Anyway, trying suppress someone’s announcement of coming out is worse than “calling it.” Maybe one day it won’t make a difference if someone comes out. It would be such a standard of our everyday that no one will applaud nor denounce it. But let’s get real. That is not our situation in this day and age. People are still getting bullied, still being treated differently, still fighting for equal rights. And while these things are STILL happening, these announcements and inspiring speeches are needed to stay afloat. Every new artist-actor-musician-athlete-celebrity who has the courage to tell the whole world (filled mostly with people who do NOT need to know) gives hope and courage to those who just need some confidence coming out to their circle of friends and family. The more comfortable everyone becomes with the idea of being gay, maybe the less of a fight we have to put up for simply being who we are.
Got out of bed super late. I’ve been having rather elaborate dreams lately that are so interesting that getting out of bed seems like I’ll be missing the end of the story. I have no pressing matters. I have some people to hang out with, but that’s it. A legitimate Saturday without work. So I should totally be able to stay in and dream all kinds of fun dreams.
Annnnnnd I don’t remember my dream from today. Still worth it. I bet it was fun.
So I realize that I’m selling a culture with tshirts as my medium. And I’ve always known that. That’s what I love about many of the brands I follow. But it took a couple hours of talking to a mentor to get it through. It took some reassurance that I was on the right path, wherever that path may inevitably lead. I have no idea what I’m doing. I just know I have to do something. This year will hopefully be the game changer. I’m getting a more definitive perspective. Hopefully that means something.